Talking about home testing for HIV

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I'd had many unsafe sexual encounters

I’d had many unsafe sexual encounters – deliberate and knowing the risks. I don’t really know why, but it’s done.

Then I met someone. I wanted to share my life with this person. I wanted to know my HIV status – partly for my own peace of mind but mostly because I wanted to tell him before we committed to a life together.

I chose the BioSURE test – it appealed to me because I could just it at home and nobody needed to know. I got home to find the package waiting (very discrete – nobody else would know what was in the package). I opened it up and read the instructions. Got the blood sample, set the timer and then waited. 3 minutes showed the test was working properly so I started some ‘busy work’ for the remaining 12 minutes. I can honestly say I was trembling, my mind was playing the ‘what if ?’ game and I kept thinking what my next step would be if the result indicated I was HIV+

The timer buzzed and I looked at the result. The relief of only seeing the control line was astonishing. I was actually trembling. I packaged everything up into the plain and discrete disposal bag.

I then told my partner that I was confirmed HIV-

I still replay the evening in my mind. It quite strange what an impact it’s had on my life – relief, of course, but also I wonder what I would have done had the second line appeared.

All in all it was not really as I thought it might be. I think home testing works for some people and you know if you’re the sort of person who can do this.

I look forward to my life – and I don’t think I’ll have unsafe sex again; it’s great at the time but I don’t really want another evening like tonight even though my result was negative.

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