Talking about home testing for HIV

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Losing my mind!

I lost my virginity to a guy that was a serial cheater, only learnt about it later on in our relationship. He convinced me to start having unprotected sex with him, and so I did, stupid of me, I know. A few week later, found out that he was seeing other girls. I decided to leave him seeing that he refused to use protection. A few weeks after possible exposure, I had flu like symptoms and swollen lymph nodes. Started googling my symptoms, being the hypochondriac that I am, I was convinced I was positive but I was too scared to even test, I was celibate for almost 2 years after that, then I met a guy who I liked, we dated and started being sexualy active, even though we were using protection, I felt I wanted to kill this little voice in my head that kept on convincing me I was positive and was making it hard for me to open up to people. I got a home test, I followed the steps carefully, but from all the shaking and being nervous, ended up not adding enough test fluid, so my test, after 15 minutes was invalid, still being nervous and curious, I went ahead and added an extra drop or two of test fluid, the fluid went down quickly and the control line started to appear, the test was negative after an extra 15 minutes of waiting. But I wasn’t 100% sure seeing that I didn’t follow the steps properly. I was so scared to test again, this was last year. My now boyfriend wants us to get tested as we’ve been dating for some time now and he wants us to move to the next step in our relationship. The other night, we were both drunk and ended up not using protection, 4 weeks later, he woke up with a rash on his neck, I felt so scared all over again and feel I might have put him at risk, I don’t know what to do. If I test positive, I will feel so bad for putting his life at risk… I’m losing my mind thinking about this

1 Responses

Becky, BioSure UK Ltd
 Work on 21st October 2020

Hi DobrĂ½, Following your first unprotected possible exposure, it was great that you took the initiative to test. The test procedure itself does not sound like our self test procedure so unfortunately I am unable to give advice specific to your result. However, usually if a control line is present this means that the test has been performed correctly and your negative result is accurate but this depends on whether the test used had a procedural or sample built in control line. I would recommend that if you are unsure, to contact the suppliers of the test that you initially performed for more information regarding the reliability of your result. Given your previous unprotected sexual exposure, I would recommend that you get tested for all sexually transmitted infections as soon as possible, especially if you are now with a new sexual partner. If you are unsure of your status, it is recommended that you practice safe sex, using condoms etc, to ensure that you and your partner are not at risk. We understand that the thought of testing may be scary - but ultimately it is always better to know your status. It may even be something worth discussing with your partner, it may help you to be more open in your relationship and may even bring you a little closer together - trust and honesty is key. You could also suggest testing together, making things a little less intense. Try to keep a clear head and do the right thing. If you were to be unknowingly HIV positive there is a very serious risk of transmission of the virus. The best thing to do is to be honest and inform anyone that you have been sexually active with, that they may be a risk. The sooner someone is diagnosed, the sooner they can access treatment and subsequently live a long and healthy life. Although there is currently no cure for HIV, treatment is now at a stage where the virus can be suppressed and once someone is said to be undetectable - they cannot transmit the virus on. I hope I have not been patronising in saying the above, this is a safe space to talk anonymously but I have to address the seriousness of potential transmission. I hope this helps. Stay safe, Becky

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