Just tested with home testing kit
I am working abroad and it’s illegal for me to be in this country if I have HIV, so, although I get excellent health insurance here I cannot risk testing in a clinic, or the government of this country will be notified and I will be deported. I have just been home in the UK and knew I would not have time for a HIV test at a clinic, so I ordered 2x HIV home kits. I have just done one and absolutely shat myself for the last hour. It is one thing to do a test, but quite another to do it alone in a foreign country. How many questions went through my head! Jeez! What was important, other than the fact that my test was negative, was that it didn’t seem the right time to take the test; I’ve just arrived back in the country and have jet lag, as well as work first thing in the morning. How would I be able to cope with a positive result with all of this ‘life’ in the way! Well, the fact that it wasn’t the ‘right time’ reinforced that there is no right time to find out a positive result, and any time is brilliant to find out that you are HIV negative. At one point I was going to put off taking the test for a few weeks! I am so glad I didn’t do that. I know my status today and this is because I took the responsibility to test myself. All of the what ifs and buts that have been niggling me since I took my risks a few months ago have fallen away and I feel so bloody relieved. I’ll take the second test in 3 months to make sure and then get a proper blood test at a clinic when I am back home in UK in the summer. These home kits really have changed how much control I have over knowing my status, which ultimately helps me make more informed choices about the kind of sex I have. Of course nothing will stop me making the occasional fuck up – I’m only human after all!