Feelings of desperate guilt and regret
I’m married. Very happily married, in fact.
About two years ago, I did something unbelievably stupid and selfish. While on a lads’ holiday with some friends, I had sex with a prostitute – the one and only time in 15+ years of marriage that I have betrayed my wife. A classic case of alcohol, exuberance and peer pressure coming together to result in a terrible decision. I used protection, but before putting on the condom she rubbed herself on my penis. At the time I thought nothing of it and assumed it was part of her foreplay routine.
The episode left me with feelings of desperate guilt and regret, but I took comfort in the fact that the experience had reinforced my commitment and loyalty towards my wife. Never again…
About six months ago I found out that my wife was having an affair. It lasted only a few weeks, but she was unrepentant and my world fell apart. However, I took it on the chin, and we have slowly but surely put it behind us and are now in a good place again. But the experience of being betrayed myself created feelings of extreme insecurity and paranoia, and I started revisiting in my mind my own lapse of loyalty. Some ill-advised web surfing somehow left me with the impression that I might have contracted HIV from that one encounter with the prostitute, and I have had regular periods of severe anxiety in recent months. I became convinced that the prostitute had deliberately tried to infect me with HIV. Silly, perhaps – but not impossible.
So the other day I took my courage in my hands and ordered the self-test from BioSURE. Doing the test was the hardest thing I have done for a long time, but 20 minutes ago it came out negative and I am overcome with a sense of relief and gratitude.
It’s a minor miracle that today we can buy ourselves peace of mind so easily. Thank you BioSURE for putting my life back on track. Now I can get on with rebuilding my marriage safe in the knowledge that that particular bombshell has been defused.